if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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