My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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