If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize