Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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