I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Randomize
