Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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