i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
