I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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