I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize