Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
