i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
