fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
This is the high leading the old right now
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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