Pants 0. Shit 1.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
