I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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