what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
