let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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