It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
