"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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