I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
