Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He did a backflip because drugs
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
His nipple licking is glorious
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