So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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