my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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