the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
