The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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