I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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