Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
no you cant smoke seaweed
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize
