She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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