I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
