walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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