the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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