I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Randomize
