the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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