I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
