If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
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Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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