Three words: puerto rican gang bang
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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