Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
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She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
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Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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