I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
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Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
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I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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