i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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