Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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