OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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