I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
