You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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