im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
