His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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