do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
