Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
