youre lurking in front of me
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
