he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
