You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
