i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize