is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
