No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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