my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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