i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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