That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
