So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
