I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize