Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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