my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
